Always do sober what you said you’d do drunk. That will teach you to keep your mouth shut. Ernest Hemingway
my fave Christmas card this past year

my fave Christmas card this past year

Leftover spoons from midnight viewing of The Room, River Oaks Theater.

Leftover spoons from midnight viewing of The Room, River Oaks Theater.

Jailbreak! Cat caught with saws, drills and phone in Brazil prison

They say the test of literary power is whether a man can write an inscription. I say, ‘Can he name a kitten?’ Samuel Butler

Update on Resolutions: Fail #1 on Day 4

#7. I will not park on the wrong floor of my apartment parking garage more than once per month.


On Day 4, I have already done this twice. It’s only a 5-story garage. You’d think I could park on the same floor as my apartment. I am an idiot.

Houston Cat Club Charity Show!
January 5-6, Houston George R. Brown Convention Center.
 Link: http://www.houstoncatclub.org

Houston Cat Club Charity Show!

January 5-6, Houston George R. Brown Convention Center.

 Link: http://www.houstoncatclub.org

I like Thundercats.

I like Thundercats.

My 2013 Resolutions

  1. I will learn to speak Brazilian Portuguese such that I can say a lot more than sou uma gata preta bonita (“I am a pretty black cat”).
  2. I will save enough money so I can take a trip to Brazil in 2014 (or even 2013, dammit). 
  3. I will go to the beach a lot despite that everyone tells me the water is brown down here.
  4. I will buy a good cowboy-ish shirt at Cavenders. To go with my boots.
  5. I will spend Easter in Jacksonville, Florida with my very bizarre friend who once, as a Catholic school teacher, showed them Aqua Teen Hunger Force in class.
  6. I will drink more Old Fashioneds in 2013 than I did in 2012.
  7. I will not park on the wrong floor of my apartment parking garage more than once per month.
  8. I will not buy a new car this year, such as an Audi TT convertible, unless my current car totally craps out.
  9. Sell/get rid of all my furniture. Why not.
  10. I will not join Facebook for the 9th consecutive year. 
  11. Finally watch that “How to Samba” DVD I bought almost 2 years ago.
  12. I will stop vomiting uncontrollably every time I hear a Pitbull song.

Hope
Smiles from the threshold of the year to come,
Whispering ‘it will be happier’…
Alfred Tennyson

My Humiliation…

I got a horn attachment for Christmas, so I would look like a unicorn. Can’t you see how thrilled I am to be wearing?

Best gift I gave this year…the classic Houston cat shirt

Best gift I gave this year…the classic Houston cat shirt

You know what’s wrong with you, Miss Whoever-you-are? You’re chicken, you’ve got no guts. You’re afraid to stick out your chin and say, “Okay, life’s a fact, people do fall in love, people do belong to each other, because that’s the only chance anybody’s got for real happiness.” You call yourself a free spirit, a “wild thing,” and you’re terrified somebody’s gonna stick you in a cage. Well baby, you’re already in that cage. You built it yourself. And it’s not bounded in the west by Tulip, Texas, or in the east by Somali-land. It’s wherever you go. Because no matter where you run, you just end up running into yourself. — Character Paul Varjak, to Holly Golightly, in the movie Breakfast at Tiffinay’s.

Sheena’s Fashion Tips for Men

Being a black cat, I have a sense for fashion. I mean, I am dressed in classic black all the time. So I have key advice for men, of which many make the same faux pas (faux paw?) over and over again, oblivious to how silly they look:

1. Don’t ever wear a tie with a short sleeve shirt. I don’t care how hot it is, wear long sleeves with a tie ALWAYS. Otherwise, you look like a little boy making your first communion.

2. Don’t wear your phone on your belt clip. While it is also not cool to stuff your pockets with everything you own, wearing your phone on your belt screams of “I also wear socks with sandals.”

Which leads to….

3. Wear nice shoes. Seriously. And unless you are at the gym, don’t wear your sneakers/tennies out and about. Ask any woman. Shoes matter. They look at yours and judge. And unless you are in your 20’s, then never wear your sneakers out (guys in their 20’s catch a break here, as they generally have no clue what they are doing anyway, and are only pretending to be a man at this point).

4. Smell nice. Invest in a nice cologne. And Axe products do not constitute cologne; they are more like spray-on air fresheners. 

5. Keep your fingernails clean and nicely trimmed. Just like shoes, women check these out as well. Long, dirty nails are just gross. You are not Wolverine.

How to Wrap a Cat for Christmas

Ah, an old favorite of Sheena’s